tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909060729155750527.post4435740043703470442..comments2023-05-17T10:29:21.805-04:00Comments on Lesser Apricots: One-Sentence WonderfulPerrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08485133856416996635noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909060729155750527.post-6532517206698280492011-01-09T11:47:00.625-05:002011-01-09T11:47:00.625-05:00Ya you did the Yoda quote wrong it goes..
...Ya you did the Yoda quote wrong it goes..<br /> <br /> No. Try not. Do or do not there is no try<br /> <br /><br /> well, I'm pretty sure it goes that way but not positive.<br /><br /> AnnaAnnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13914353204465974563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909060729155750527.post-41901120582317303592010-09-08T18:12:35.026-04:002010-09-08T18:12:35.026-04:00Thanks so much everyone, this is so helpful. I fee...Thanks so much everyone, this is so helpful. I feel like I can take a step back now and... breathe!<br /><br />Elizabeth, I love the squinting at Waldo analogy! And thanks for the vote of confidence. Honestly, I wasn't sure I made it sound interesting to anyone but myself.<br /><br />Nicole and Amanda, you're right about that first paragraph. I'm going to work on it a bit, pare it down. <br /><br />Lynda, I kinda knew I was committing query letter sin by squeezing in the two POVs. Almost got away with it too! Glad you mentioned it. <br /><br />Back to the drawing board!<br /><br />PerriPerrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08485133856416996635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909060729155750527.post-17671533667102016072010-09-07T20:01:38.438-04:002010-09-07T20:01:38.438-04:00The story sounds great. I think the two different ...The story sounds great. I think the two different point of views (Dawn and Zorro) in the query is one too many. And I'm with the others about the confusion in the first paragraph. Queries are the worst thing to have to write. I'm not looking forward to when I have to write mine.Lynda R Young as Elle Cardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09975442291393246148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909060729155750527.post-50173574531649451102010-09-07T16:03:46.448-04:002010-09-07T16:03:46.448-04:00Sounds like a crazy-fun read! If I was an agent, I...Sounds like a crazy-fun read! If I was an agent, I'd give it a go. :)<br /><br />But, I found the first paragraph confusing and had to go back after reading the second to sort it out.<br /><br />I didn't realize it was a song title until the mention of the band mate.<br />But once I got it, I was interested. <br /><br />Have you tried the "When(or)After __, he __" construction? After Roger, a washed-out singer, has a near death experience, he commits himself to saving his girlfriend's loser daughter... etc..." <br /><br />Well, not that obviously, but that sort of construction sometimes helps pinpoint the main plot. <br /><br />I find writing the query harder than writing the actual novel. You have to leave out so much, but make it sound interesting. Crazy!Amanda Borenstadthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03061109442550378113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909060729155750527.post-49634456095404363392010-09-07T14:56:03.331-04:002010-09-07T14:56:03.331-04:00I wouldn't compare your work to others, always...I wouldn't compare your work to others, always be an original and that way when it turns out they hate one of the authors you compared yourself too it won't matter ;p Both paragraphs seem a tad long... I really like the second paragraph. Totally gets my attention. The first paragraph though reads tricky. It's too much information.<br /><br />that's all I can offer for now :) gotta dash to work (is 6.55am here in NZ) Good luck!Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17648307410383451558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909060729155750527.post-81164640982288162332010-09-07T14:52:22.836-04:002010-09-07T14:52:22.836-04:00Hi!
First off, I like it a lot. It makes me think...Hi!<br /><br />First off, I like it a lot. It makes me think of Nick Hornby's About a Boy, but with a more Royal Tenenbaums feel, and maybe a little Max Barry thrown in. My favorite part is the song title, which is ignominious enough to be believed as a disco hit. I'm not an agent or an editor, but if I saw this on the back of a book, I'd buy the book, no question.<br /><br />I am a little ambivalent about the last line, though. On the one hand, stating the wordcount and that it's finished seems a little redundant. Then again... there are a lot of dictionary-sized works of progress out there, so maybe not.<br /><br />Secondly, anything can be pared down into a one-sentence idea. The key is to distance yourself. It's like squinting for Waldo.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06376697563995394878noreply@blogger.com