Thursday, January 27, 2011

The 99th Page

My 99th Page is sort of a turning point. Zorro is in a bar, discovering that rather than imparting "cool" to his girlfriend's daughter, Dawn, he has lost it altogether. Unfortunately, the page starts off with (ugh!) back story. But what can ya do, eh?


Here goes:


After the glory that was Hate you (Gonna Eat Cheese), Willy moved to London and started a solo career. He could have been Elvis great, Morrison great, if he had held off a little longer on the dying part. But as fate would have it, Willy put out his first solo hit and bit the big one all in the same week.

Zorro slurped his third—or maybe fourth—beer in memory of his friend. Willy hadn’t even died of an overdose or in a plane crash or any of the legendary ways. Instead, he got hit by a car in a London suburb. Whenever he thought about the accident, Zorro imagined the picture on the Beatles’ Abbey Road, Willy in the crosswalk behind the Fab Four, creamed by the green Fiat of fate. Even now, he couldn’t bear to look at that album cover… or make of car, for that matter.

If Willy, generous, talented Willy who had been the heart and soul of The MeeMees, the engine behind the musical end of the enterprise, hadn’t been kept back for some higher purpose, who was Zorro to think he actually had?

“Hey,” Ed said, moseying down the bar to collect the latest empty. How about this: Captain Monterey Jack. That’s the ticket, right? Sort of a Billy Joel thing?”

Zorro cringed. There was nothing he could do for Dawn. He thought of those evil little preteens on the library steps. They didn’t see cool when they looked at him. They saw old, has-been, loser. Even with the shades and hair. He was exactly what he’d been before Willy had found him all those years ago. And his songs—all those ridiculous, half-finished songs—could just stay that way.

What did Roger Weitz know of cool?



27 comments:

Misha said...

Back story or no, it was interesting to read.

I really like the voice you're using.

:-)

Erinn said...

I loved your voice... awesome. I was hooked by, "But as fate would have it, Willy put out his first solo hit and bit the big one all in the same week."

Great job. thanks for joining in the fun!

Holly Dodson said...

I love the voice. Excellent. I'd keep reading. :)

Mo said...

"as fate would have it, Willy put out his first solo hit and bit the big one all in the same week."

"green fiat of fate"

I love these lines. I would definitely keep reading, I really like Zorro's voice. And there are definitely questions that I want answered.

Pam Harris said...

Ummm, MORE PLEASE!! :) I'm not even being polite--this is definitely my kind or reading. I'd snatch this up in a bookstore in a sec!

Alicia Gregoire said...

And this is why I <3 your writing. "Green Fiat of fate." I would so read on. Actually, I have to read this. RIGHT. NOW.

Heather M. Gardner said...

I would certainly turn the page. Thanks for sharing.

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

Your voice and style come through and we definitely want to know "what's up".

Alex Mullarky said...

Nothing wrong with a bit of backstory. This was a pleasure to read, and I certainly want to read on to find out what his motivation is :)

Sarah said...

Count me in as another who really liked the green Fiat of fate. Nice work!

KO: The Insect Collector said...

dude-- loved it. The back story didn't feel like info dump to me. It felt like an old guy being introspective. And the 1-hit wonder song name is so perfectly awesome. It so captures the one-hit-ness of it all.

Loralie Hall said...

I agree that the back story definitley isn't info-dumpy. It adds to the character, it brings the voice alive even more. This sounds like it could be a great emotional read. I'd love to see more ^_^

Francine Howarth said...

Hi,

LOL. Loved "creamed by the green Fiat of fate."

Would so read on! ;)

best
F

Dawn Embers said...

The voice has potential. I have a hard time with certain characters' names and Zorro is going to have a single picture in my mind. That may affect how I would consider buying a book or reading more. Good entry for the blogfest.

erica and christy said...

I liked the imagery! Of course, I know NOTHING about the book - no genre, no description (I know it's on the sidebar, but since I didn't know it for the other entries, I didn't read it yet), no anything but this page.

My only concern about the backstory is why it's happening on page 99. I think by then, you'd be hard-core into the story line. But maybe you are and I just don't know it yet!!! Fun entry.
erica

Caroline said...

I love the Abbey Road line and this, "After the glory that was Hate you (Gonna Eat Cheese)..."

You have a great voice in this piece. Good humor, even about sad topics. I'd definitely be reading more. There have been some great pieces today, but I like yours best.

Marquita Hockaday said...

Oooh...can I have page 100 now? Matter of fact, pages 1-98 and the rest??? This is soooo good. This is my kind of writing.

Marie Rearden said...

1. Would you turn to page 100? Yes
2. Why or why not? Because I'm fairly certain your guy is cool at least in Dawn's eyes. :)
3. Based on what you read, how likely would you buy the book? I would.

Keep going!

Marie, http://marierearden.blogspot.com

maryw said...

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Empress said...

ZOMG, I just laughed out loud. (Alicia will testify to this.) "The green Fiat of Fate"--I want that on a t-shirt!

Yes, I would so read the next page. Great black humor--the album title alone... (And his next album should be The Green Fiat of Fate.)

That's it, I want a Green Fiat of Fate.

Red Boot Pearl said...

Wow that was cool...really good imagery, loved the imaginary scene because you could totally picture it!

Angela Felsted said...

I love this. You have a wonderful voice. It stands out.

gideon 86 said...

Strong voice and nicely written.

I'd turn the page.


Michael

Jennifer Hoffine said...

I'm also a huge fan of the Fiat line. Well done!

Perri said...

Thanks, everyone, for all the feedback!

I enjoyed reading all those pages, too.

You all make me so happy :)

Laurel Garver said...

Wonderful, wonderful voice. Totally pulls you in.
I loved especially the paragraph with the "green Fiat of fate" and the line "Even now, he couldn’t bear to look at that album cover… or make of car, for that matter." That mix of funny and poignant is wonderful.

I think you worked in the backstory very deftly here--and the book's middle is a good place to add backstories, especially if they're interspersed within real-time scenes.

Racquel Henry said...

I would definitely turn to page 100! Seems like there's a lot of internal conflict with Zorro. Nice job. Also, thanks for commenting on my page 99! :)